it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
