At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
