When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize