How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
