I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
why is half of my head shaved?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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