I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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