she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
