I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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