Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
