It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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