Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize