Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
