She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
