Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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