I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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