therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
