I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
