I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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