Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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