good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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