He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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