You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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