If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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