i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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