omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
