we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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