he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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