I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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