I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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