I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
