I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
someone owes me an orgasm
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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