Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
