just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
