Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
