i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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