It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
