God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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