Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize