Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
