Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
is this the sara with the beer cane?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
