Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My feet surprised me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
