i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
