Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
