I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
