Your mouth is God's brothel.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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