I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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