So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
