With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
