my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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