you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
