Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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