She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
