he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
