Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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