i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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