I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
